By Randy Richardson

Cubs fans of the late fifties and early sixties must have had medicine cabinets crammed with pain relievers and antacids. How else could one stomach a team that habitually lost two out of every three games? This was arguably the century's worst baseball team at its very worst. Even for a team steeped in a tradition of futility, the Baby Boomer era Cubs would had to have severely tested a die-hard's loyalty.

What these Cubs teams lacked in momentum, however, they tried to make up for with Moe-mentum. I've no proof that there was a concerted effort on the part of the Cubs brain-trust (loosely defined) at the time to recruit guys named Moe to play for them, but if they did, they were indisputably successful.

Between 1957 and 1962, the Cubs cornered the market on guys named Moe. Three Moes – Drabowsky, Thacker and Morhardt – wore Cubbie blue at varying times during that stretch of dreadful baseball, turning the North Side into Moe-town.

The first Moe to put on a Cubs uniform was Drawbowsky, whose real name was Myron. He was born in Ozanna, a village in southern Poland and in 1968, in the twilight of his 17-year big league career, Chicago columnist Mike Royko quipped that he “is still considered the best pitcher that Ozanna, Poland, ever produced.”

Drabowsky was also the best ballplayer of the three Moes during this Moe-azoic Era of Cubs baseball. The Polish-American right-handed pitcher was in many ways the 1950s model for the modern hard-luck pitcher Kerry Wood. In his rookie year, 1957, Drabowsky posted a 13-15 record and struck out 170 batters, second in the National League. A sore arm in 1958, however, cost him his fastball and he was never able to recapture that electricity of that rookie year.

Drabowsky was back on the mound for the Cubs in 1959 just in time for the arrival of rookie backstop Moe Thacker (given name: Morris). Yes, it was a battery tandem of Moe and Moe, which undoubtedly served as inspiration for the Andrea True Connection twenty years later when it recorded the disco anthem “More, More, More” but which to the ear sounded like "Moe, Moe, Moe".

The wheels were in Moe-tion to turn around the Cubs, built on a super-charged Moe-tor. You can almost hear the cheers. "Moe! Moe! Moe!"

Unfortunately, Moe turned out to be less. The Cubs gave up on Drabowsky after four years and traded him away. Like Kerry Wood, Drabowsky found new life in the bullpen and even helped the Baltimore Orioles win the World Series in 1970, a pinnacle he never would have attained had he remained with the Cubs. He also developed a reputation as a flake whose practical jokes involved, among other things, being rolled to first base in a wheelchair after being hit by a pitch. In the Jim Bouton book “Ball Four”, one of Drabowsky’s teammates claimed that Drabowsky got sick on a team flight and “puked up a panty girdle.”

The Cubs weren't done living for the Moe-ment just yet. The year after Drabowsky's departure saw the late-season call-up of Moe Morhardt, a left-hand hitting first baseman whose given name was Meredith. Morhardt played well enough in September to earn his way back onto the roster at the start of 1962.

But that would be final year of the Cubs' Moe movement, as the cheers of "Moe" were replaced by moans. The 1962 Cubs finished 59-103, the first 100-loss club in Cubs history.

Morhardt played in only 25 games with the Cubs in '62, batting .205. That would be the end of his Major League career. The Cubs traded Thacker away to the St. Louis Cardinals in a six-player deal at the end of the season. He would play only one more year, ending five years in the big leagues with a career batting average of .177.

Forty-six years have gone by and there's not been another Moe to wear the Cubs uniform. Say it ain't so, Moe.

Randy Richardson, author of Wrigleyville murder-mystery Lost In The Ivy, is a Regular Loser. He is a frequent contributor to Chicago Parent magazine and his work has recently been anthologized in Chicken Soup for the Father and Son Soul and Humor for the Boomer's Heart. He serves as president of the Chicago Writers Association.